Discontentment vs. Contentment

Some of our readers may not be aware, that I (Ashley) made a huge life transition earlier this year. In February, I left my for the most part- comfortable world in Los Angeles, CA to build a life in Metro Detroit, Michigan. I say for the most part comfortable, because I was uncomfortable in a job that was not fulfilling my purpose. I therefore left very willingly! Now in Michigan, becoming a settler in this state has in no way been an overnight story of success. Much of what I have vision for in Michigan, has yet to be established or brought to life. I have also postponed many of my plans for The Iris Rose until I have become more settled in my change. If you’ve been following this blog and our Instagram for the past 7 months you probably have noticed just how important it is for us to encourage a culture that chooses joy. Nonetheless, we understand that joy doesn’t always feel like an option to choose. In addition we’ve been talking a lot about making your dreams realities, but sometimes dreams coming true take a long time, no matter how much you are striving towards them. I am a living witness. Nonetheless, I press and twirl on. 🙂  

I created The Iris Rose knowing that much of what I “preached” I would be living out myself in real time. That’s what truly makes this a community. If you “follow us”, then whether near or far we are doing this life together! We will never share anything that we do not truly believe, having lived it out, or are currently living it out ourselves.  


With that being said, I write all of this in complete transparency. I hope as you read you gain the sense of community we hope to provide through our existence. Though currently seemingly a mere blog floating in the abyss of the world wide web full of additional blogs, our desire for The Iris Rose remains. We hope to be more than a blog, and more like a “place”, for women to receive pleasant reminders and “how to’s” towards embracing their little girl inside, and encouragement to choose joy despite any circumstance.  

Before launching the blog, we set a goal to write one new post per month. Well, you may not have noticed, but we skipped the month of June. Not getting a new blog posted was like skipping my monthly cycle. Because it’s now something that is a part of me and not having the flow of words or inspiration was a sign that something was possibly wrong. Just a few weeks ago I realized that I had been zapped of encouragement for myself, and therefore unable to gather encouraging words to share with others. After moving half-way across the country, and waiting for things to really feel all together, I’ve had days where it seemed as though choosing joy was impossible or at least pointless. After all, on a day where it feels like nothing is together or even coming together doesn’t that give us a permission slip to sulk for a at least a few hours? Is it possible to find joy or choose joy when there seems to be no reason at all? The answer is YES!

Skipping June helped me to do some introspection, I was searching hard for the topic and words to blog but first I had to take sometime to find joy within, instead of seeking joy through day to day experiences. I also had to acknowledge that recently I had began to dwell in discontentment versus being content in my current transition.

After finding fault in my outlook of personal and professional pursuits. I discovered that it’s easier to choose joy when content and easier to be content when consciously choosing joy . It is very easy to complain about our current situations when discontent, instead of being content (not complacent) in every season of our life.

Today I ask you, are you choosing joy, and are you living in

contentment or discontentment?

In discontentment we are unable to appreciate anything about what we currently have, and where we are in life, therefore making it impossible to assess what needs to be done in order for us to create a quality of life different from what we are currently living.

In discontentment we mostly feel empty and unhappy, and are unable to celebrate any of our strides, because we always focus on what we can’t do or what we do not have. Ultimately, this is because in discontentment no thing is ever seen as good enough.   

In contentment however, not only do we find peace, but we are also positioned to learn and grow. This is because, being content allows you to shift your perspective, which develops an aptitude for success in where you want to go and where God is preparing to take you. It is admiring, and being grateful for the present, while working toward and anticipating your desired future.

In contentment you are able to assess your potential, and remind yourself that it’s not about where you are currently, but instead it’s about setting, and achieving goals that will maximize your potential, and facilitate the optimal fulfillment of your purpose.

In doing this, it helps to know and understand your current “season”. You can be at peace and choose joy, whether you are in a season of waiting, resting, mothering, unmarried/married, unemployed/working learning/teaching. Whether you are experiencing feelings of having plenty of time because your schedule isn’t very full, or feelings of not having enough time because your schedule is jam packed.


Identify your season so that you can acknowledge where you are, and then appropriately plan for where you want to be; and whatever your season be content and CHOOSE JOY.


Love and TWIRLS,




2 replies
  1. Yolanda says:

    So timely. The Holy Spirit has been speaking JOY inspire of my situation.
    The Word at church yesterday was on JOY.

    Keep being obedient Ashley.


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